Archives / 2014 / February
  • Recruiting for the Enemy

    The day that Meggie was taken away, I sat numbly on the floor of her room, back against the wall, knees pressed to my chest, occasionally crying, but mostly just sitting and staring.  My parents and sisters had arrived earlier to hold her one last time and pray with her before she left.  They remained because they knew I needed them.  They helped to pack the last of her things, took apart her crib, and rearranged the furniture, as if we could somehow make the gaping hole less obvious.  The crib went into the attic, where it was later joined by Jenn’s.  And there it stayed until a few weeks ago--

    --When I took her crib, her mattress, and her butterfly quilt, down from the attic, loaded them, along with a lot of other baby stuff and five kids, into our van and headed for Wisconsin.

    My baby sister Amy and her husband are in the process of becoming foster parents, and having no kids of their own, needed some things to get started.  When we arrived, we set up the crib and bed, arranged the toys and books, then headed out to buy a mattress for the bed.  It was kind of fun getting the room together, but a cloud of unease followed me throughout the day.  There was no way to handle …